(shamelessly stolen from nrgburst)

I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful...

Quasar Tsunamis Rip Across Galaxies

Find the NASA post HERE.

Basically, they house supermassive black holes and are the brightest cosmic entities in the universe. They are also probably responsible for curbing the size of galaxies, since they devour them, and limiting the creation of new stars, since they also devour the materials that form them. "Anyone witnessing this event would see a brilliant celestial display. 'You'd get a huge light show—like Christmas trees all over the galaxy.'" = Wow, what a description.

Favorite Films You've Seen This Year For the 1st time (the year of release doesn't matter)

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (2006)

I actually really loved this film despite that most people probably have never seen it because it hasn't gotten good ratings. I get why it would bore some people because it is very slow burn, but I think that's what I like most about it. I'm very impatient when it comes to films, especially as the years go by and I find less and less films I like (especially if they came out the year I'm watching them in), and will drop most films in the first fifteen minutes or so, but this film has kept me hooked the four or so times I've watched it. Before this film, I would have said that I don't like slow burn films, but I feel that this is the epitome of a slow burn and actually does it superbly well.

The characters are raw and real, whether emotional or emotionless. For me, Clive Owen's "It matters" is filled with believable conviction and is perfect for his numb, hopeless yet vengeance seeking character, while others might very well say its bland and stilted. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, while having little screen time, steals every scene he's in (let's face it, he's the reason I checked out the film in the first place, though I also really love Clive Owen). Jamie Foreman, however, gives one of the best performances I have ever seen when he stumbles upon his friend's suicide. It's heart-wrenching and difficult to watch and I really liked how this film showed the contrasts of emotional trauma, teetering between cold numbness and heated outbursts.

Okay, shutting up about this movie now.

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
One of the best movies I have EVER seen, hands down. Matt Damon and Emily Blunt have possibly the best chemistry I have ever seen captured on film. Plus this is just so original and romantic and just beautiful. What a film.

( Read more... )

So I normally don't post about my personal life on my journal because a) I hate my life and don't know where I'm going or what the fuck I'm doing and am severely depressed and b) this journal is a place of refuge for me to post about, occasionally, what makes me happy (I totally need to post more on that), but mainly this journal is an expression about the only part I (relatively) like about myself: my imaginative and creative side, which is nowhere near what I'd like it to be but oh well.

But I feel like I need to make this post for myself, to symbolize the close of one chapter of my life. Somehow, someway, I ended up in the wealth management field two naive, hopeful years ago. I, a History major. I had no idea what this field was or entailed and simply wanted to work. Plus, I figured it would be better than the only other jobs in my area: restaurants or retail. Let's just say it wasn't a perfect fit. It made me into a miserable, negative and bitter person; it made me feel not only inexperienced but inferior; it made me feel like nothing more than a slave at the beck and call of my masters and of the heartless, financial machine.

It nearly killed the creative side of me, and I nearly let it.

So, earlier this year, I left for a smaller firm. Like an idiot, I imagined that a smaller firm in the same field would be a better fit for me. And boy, was I wrong. Then again, learning from experience is sometimes the best way - the only way - to learn. Not only did I learn how people hide their true cruel and snobbish selves behind kind and grateful masks, spreading lies and sheltering ingrates, but I also realized that not everyone is fit for the wealth management field. I learned that there is a world outside of it (because apparently I had somehow forgotten that). I learned like the lid being taken off my coffin that I need not be buried under mounds of stress and worthlessness and depression.

And now, making this post, getting all this off my chest, I actually feel a whole lot better about it all. And I guess that's what writing is supposed to be: therapeutic.

So, mid-year resolutions, I guess I'll call them:

I will never in my life go back into the wealth management field, or anything finance related for that matter. I will no longer allow the phrase 'misery loves company' to win. I will no longer allow people to think they're better than me or smarter than me or try to make me into a pathetic, deceitful, soulless person. I will no longer let others walk all over me and treat me like a slave and critique everything I say or do down to the smallest, infinitesimal degree. I will no longer let people condition me into believing that there is no way out.

There is a way out and it's called quitting, it's called I deserve better than this, better than you, better than all this stress. I am not flawless. I do not nor should not know the answers to every possible question. I am not impenetrable and I am not nor should not be expected to be emotionless. I am a living, breathing, deserving human being with feelings and aspirations and needs.

And there, I said it.

To all of you out there who hate your job, who know it makes you into a small, worthless, inferior version of yourself, I drink to your health and happiness and pray you can get out.

And to all of you out there who are in the career of their dreams, or who know what they want to do with their lives and are pursuing it currently, you are honestly the most goddamn luckiest people in the world.

Because I still haven't figured it out. All I know is that I love History and writing and creating things and honestly, that isn't much.

So, for now...

To the close of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Thank you.

Going to see Micky Dolenz of The Monkees this Sunday. I'm so excited!!!

So I'm trying to get some last minute writing done before the end of the year and then before the 5th as well, but I just stumbled upon absolute zero, then the laws of thermodynamics, then astronomy and through that cosmology (big freeze and heat death), and finally the fascinating concepts of entropy and thermodynamic equilibrium.

And ENTROPY... oh god, I could spend the whole rest of my life on this.
(And I suck at science btw)

WHY?????!!!!!

Really enjoyed Suicide Squad.

Not only was the acting great and the characters fleshed out beautifully, but I thought the directing, special effects and editing were all amazingly well-done, despite so many saying otherwise. The fact that David Ayer was able to introduce all these colorful characters and still establish an interesting (and simple not an overly convoluted or boring and filler) plot and give the audience such a wild ride is just AWESOME to me.

I was expecting having a lot of fun watching this film and that's what it was... a ton of fun. And what wouldn't be fun about a group of quirky, antisocial misfits? Definitely worth the time and the money, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. 

Oh, and just because I can't not mention it: Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) and Joker (Jared Leto) were to die for.

And I was very pleasantly surprised by Will Smith's, Joel Kinnaman's and Viola Davis' performances as Deadshot, Rick Flag and Amanda Waller. Overall, what a fantastically fun and beautiful film. 

So my time to get my Bachelor's is running down and suddenly things are getting a lot scarier. Pretty much since Elementary school I've always assumed I would get a Master's Degree, but now that I only have a year left I'm doubting it more and more.

First of all, I really just want to get another job and start working (even though the last one changed me and set me further back in a lot of ways and made me into a horrible person), since I'm miserable when I'm not making money. Second of all, I just found out that you have to take this GRE test and I've taken a sample and it's unbelievably difficult (even with studying), plus it's like $200, so now I just think that Graduate School is wholly unrealistic. My parents just told me that they were willing to pay for all of it, but this just makes me want to go less and less and less (since the guilt is eating me alive). Plus... writing is supposed to be my passion but I am really sick of writing papers and my motivation is dropping further and further every semester. 

Why does life have to be so goddamn hard? I have it easier than most and have all the support in the world, but I've been completely depressed and miserable since 2010 and there is no silver lining in sight. 

Update...

Charlie Countryman was pretty damn good, but I wish it had been longer and I think I wanted to like it more than I actually did. Except... Evan Rachel Woods was gorgeous (especially with accent), seeing a homicidal Mads Mikkelsen was a real treat, and Shia Labeouf is a fantastic actor (so much fucking emotion). 

Came home late one night and popped in Insurgent to re-watch. I saw it in IMAX in the theater and adored it then, and was pleasantly surprised that I loved it just as much on a second watch and on a second screen. Theo James is adorable as Four and Shailene Woodley is incredible as Tris (god, can she act). Plus TrisFour is just perfection. Still have to read the books....

Creed, the latest Rocky installment (and I am totally calling it that), was really good. I've never seen Stallone in anything I haven't loved, so I knew it would be, but he had so many scenes and I liked the other actors too, so of course I had to watch it again. 

Season 2 of The Middle was just as good and as funny as the first. Seriously, I have no idea how that show does it. I've been looking for a good comedy show for years and have tried plenty and have never found one even remotely as good as this one. 

Halfway through Season 2 of Z Nation and it's just as good as the first. To be honest, I like this series as much as I like The Walking Dead. I feel it's just as original and adds a certain lightness and humor that The Walking Dead doesn't have, while also adding in serious and heartbreaking scenes just as well as The Walking Dead. 

As far as books go, last month I read Theodore Dreiser's Sister Carrie for my Gilded Age class and adored it. Not only superbly well-written, but also almost a history book as it talks about the time period. One of the best books I have ever read. Frank Holt's Into the Land of Bones, a requirement for my Age of Alexander course, was also fantastic: easy to get through and interesting and Holt also making me want to attack his references and read more about Seleucid history especially. I'm currently reading Sinclair Lewis' It Can't Happen Here for my Fascism class and I hate it. Half of it is incredibly dull and the other half I can't even understand. I'm pretty picky on books in general, less so on Classics, and this book is gonna be hell to get through. 

And I finally read and just finished Richelle Mead's The Ruby Circle, and I swear to god that book was written for me. For those of you who aren't familiar with Richelle Mead's young adult books (her adult books are forced and terrible, okay, sorry), Vampire Academy is the first series and Bloodlines the second and a spin-off of Vampire Academy, with some major and some minor characters and even some new characters. Richelle Mead created this fully fleshed out and kick-ass world where half-vampire, half-human Dhampirs protect royal vampires, Moroi, from the evil Strigoi, or the evil vampires. If this doesn't sound awesome enough, she also creates the Alchemists, a religious organization that hides the vampire world from humans and work with the Moroi to do this (even though they claim all vampires are evil).

SPOILERS: These two series have EVERYTHING: resurrection, chases, vacations to Russia, wielding magic to heal and/or damage, murder, friendship, kidnapping, heart-melting romance and SO much more. The Ruby Circle, unfortunately, is the last book of the Bloodlines series. While VA started out as my favorite series (Romitri and Rose & Lissa), Bloodlines became my favorite by The Fiery Heart, primarily because of Adrian/Sydney. Sydney is a lot like me, especially with her obsession with ancient history, and Adrian/Sydney quickly became my favorite couple. Not only that but SPOILERS! by the end of the series they finally finally FINALLY get their happy ending and live in Northern Maine (so totally my dream state). See what I mean? Book totally written for me. They could have moved anywhere but they chose MAINE. Not only that, but it was totally my dream for Eddie to stay with them and I was completely expecting this not to come true and IT DID. Still crying over that ending, sobbing actually. 

Here's some music to brighten your day.