(no subject)

So my time to get my Bachelor's is running down and suddenly things are getting a lot scarier. Pretty much since Elementary school I've always assumed I would get a Master's Degree, but now that I only have a year left I'm doubting it more and more.

First of all, I really just want to get another job and start working (even though the last one changed me and set me further back in a lot of ways and made me into a horrible person), since I'm miserable when I'm not making money. Second of all, I just found out that you have to take this GRE test and I've taken a sample and it's unbelievably difficult (even with studying), plus it's like $200, so now I just think that Graduate School is wholly unrealistic. My parents just told me that they were willing to pay for all of it, but this just makes me want to go less and less and less (since the guilt is eating me alive). Plus... writing is supposed to be my passion but I am really sick of writing papers and my motivation is dropping further and further every semester. 

Why does life have to be so goddamn hard? I have it easier than most and have all the support in the world, but I've been completely depressed and miserable since 2010 and there is no silver lining in sight.